I am 21…for one more day. It feels sad somehow. I know there is nothing inherently important about your twenty-first year aside from the cultural significance of this random number symbolizing the commencement of adulthood, but it is still disappointing to have passed it already. Perhaps it is sadder to me because the past year has been difficult for me and I have often felt lonely and apathetic. My usually intentional personality has been quenched and I have so missed the deep relationships that I left behind this time last year that I have found it hard to receive refreshment from friends in my home town who have continued on with their lives.
Twenty-one has been my gap year. The year between an incredible college experience and (I hope) a wonderful cross-cultural teaching experience. The year I have so little to point to that I have done or experienced. The year I have so much to regret. The year that went by without my even realizing it.
And yet, God is faithful. I have a loving family and I am learning to love them better. I have imperfect friends, but I’m imperfect too and I’m learning to forgive and give myself for them and be humble so that they can do the same for me. I have an incredible church with incredible leaders and I cannot wait to see how God uses their humility and obedience to make an impact in our city and in the world. I have learned some practical skills like mending and cooking and I have gained excellent experience while working with children through my wonderful job. It has not been in vain, but it has not been my best. I guess when it comes down to it, I’m grateful that I am not forever twenty-one. Our lives are meant to move on and I am going to move on too. Here is to being twenty-two and living a life full of joy.